Monday, November 17, 2008

A BIG BITCH OUT: Enter With Caution

My grandmother ( my mom's mom) has been staying at my parent's house for the past week and a half. I have never experienced her living in the same house as me because every other time she has stayed a week here I have been living in another city, state or continent ;)

I don't want this to be mean, so I will leave out the gory details of my mother's ignorant family (my wonderful mother excluded) but needless to say, it's not pretty. And thankfully the complete opposite as my father's side of the family, who I have been accepted with open arms at every Thanksgiving I have been vegan :)

My mom and I spent a bunch of money at Whole Foods last weekend to make this vegan mushroom barley soup for everyone to share for the week. HUGE POT of DELICIOUSNESS ahead of us. We spent so much time and effort making it perfect one evening, and then wanted all the flavors to meld and sink in over night. For lunch the next day, I am very much looking forward to heating up my soup with some bread and salad! So I take a bit, and heat it up on the stove, start stirring and THERE IS FUCKING CHICKEN IN THE SOUP! 

My grandmother HAS NO RESPECT for my lifestyle, our home (my mom is a vegetarian) and our kitchen or of us. I started crying, no joke, it really affected me, I cannot even imagine what I would have done if I had not noticed it and had eaten it. I was extremely upset, pretty much on the verge of a nervous breakdown that someone could be so disrespectful and ignorant of a cause and lifestyle I have lived and have been so proud of for 4 years now. 

She still has not apologized, and kept calling me "ridiculous and just to pick it out or eat it because it won't kill you." She just DIDN'T GET IT AT ALL. 
So now, this HUGE pot of soup is going to waste in this house, because my mother and I will not touch it, and my dad saw how upset I was and thinks of it as tainted, even though he does occasionally eat meat. 
Even when I told my other Grandmother (dad's side) and all my friends, they flipped out and could not believe it happened. (I am someone who shoves people that try to use their disgusting meat infected silverware to try my food at restaurants. They must use a clean one or mine ;)

So on that note, it was not only a large waste of money and time, but it fueled so much anger and negative energy throughout the house. "Grandma ignorance" is bringing it all home with her. MY POOR SOUP :( I mean this wasn't a restaurant mishap with cheese, (which I have experienced and was appalled and ended up with a new free meal and wine) this was my own home and my own cooking with someone in my "family" doing this.

Ok, enough ranting about the "soup epidemic" everything else is going really well. I apologize for being such a slacking blogger, I need MOFOS to inspire me haha. But job is good, new man interest is very good (more on that next time) and I AM GETTING an amazing apartment right downtown Northampton (ideal location, literally next to the brewery and everything else, health food store included) at the start of the new year with a good friend of mine. Can't wait! Perfect and really no need for a car most of the time, whoo hoo! 

Send me thoughts on my bitch out if you feel like it, I could use the love ;)


goober doober said...

VV... I'm sorry you have to endure such ignorance. You're too smart and sensitive to have to put up with that. But there's so much thoughtlessness in this world. Just think of that 43rd "president." But things are looking up...
At least this gives you a good story to tell. And remember the great Rolling Stones song, "Bitch"? Play it loud... it'll make you feel better.

goober doober said...

Oh... and in the words of the great Otis Redding, as sung by Aretha Franklin (the best singer of all time according to Rolling Stone mag), you deserve RESPECT for what you do. And shame on anyone, family or not, who doesn't respect that!!

VeganView said...

THANKS GOOBER MY FRIEND! Your comments mean you get it, and that means A LOT!

bahamamama said...

Wow! You are a wonderful writer to eloquently say what is on your mind about this situation. You are a strong and sensitive woman. Hopefully you'll make your wonderful soup again someday soon.

River said...

Oh no she didn't! OMG that is so rude and disrespectful! I hate it when people say "just pick the meat out", you had every right to be upset. Your parents are amazing, even your meat-eating dad refused to eat the soup! That is so cool!
YAY for the awesome new apartment!

Bethany said...

soup should make friends not incite riots :) Especailly if you were making the soup in honor of her visit.

That is really annoying and she crossed a line by invading your soup. I'd be flaming mad just like you are now.

It might not feel like it now, but for peace keeping and understandings sake, I think this one is either best confronted with something like,

"It really hurt my feelings when you put the chicken in the soup. Being vegan is really important to me and it's also important that you respect my decisions. I hope you understand them, but even if you don't I need you to respect me."

Or you can go let it drop and go on as normal. aka the ignoring route. Sounds lame, but sometimes it is what is needed. I'm sure she knows that you weren't happy about the soup, and hopefully she learned her lesson.

Brings back my own soup incident w/ my mother. It's really tame compared to your story, but really annoyed me at the time.

Last year, I went to VT and stayed w/ my brother. We brought up some soup to her house that took us forever to make. She insisted on keeping the leftovers because she really loved it. which is fine w/ me. My brother found out later that she threw it out. He said, "I knew you'd do that". which pissed her off, but too bad!!! I hate wasting food. Especially since she knows that my brother doesn't cook at all and typically just eats plain unheated blocks of tofu and veggies. So a big pot of soup would have been really nice for him.

I went the ignoring route on my soup incident because things can be very touchy w/ my mother. Luckily things are getting better on that front. though she is not getting any leftovers from me :)

sounds like you're going to get a cool place to live.

KAYLiE said...

Damn, I'm sorry you have to deal with that crap. I have yet to experience that, but my dad and step mom are not the most open to veganisim. Then again I'm not gunna lie, I have a hard time accepting people eating meat -_- *shrugs*


aTxVegn said...

I'm sorry that happened. It hurts extra bad when a family member disrepects your feelings. My dad didn't get it for a long time, but then he started cooking especially for me and my son because it was more important to him to go along and have his happy family with him. I hope your grandma will come around.

Chelsea said...

Oh, Hell no!!! I would be livid! That is just, SO WRONG!

Jen said...

vv-that was an awful story, and even more awful because it was true. shame on her. i'm sorry that your nanna did that. has the soup gone bad? because if it is still any good, you might find out if there is a soup kitchen in your town and take it there. the homeless will eat it. or is there a member of your community that has recently had a baby or someone in their family die? people who have endured a gain or a loss can always use a ready-to-eat meal. that way the food doesn't go to waste.

some people just don't get it. if you can, try to pray for her. if you don't pray, then i'll pray for her for you.

Bethany said...

I'm awarding you with a "Butterfly Award" for having a really cool blog that I love to read. It's also sort of a meme, so the love doesn't stop w/ you :)

Joanna said...

girl, i would've been pissed, too!! you have every right to be completely annoyed with your grandma. i hate when people disrespect my things. it's just plain rude, and especially when it's your food, i mean, you put so much work into it.

and yeah, you're capable of picking the chicken out, but it's not even about that. it shouldn't have been there in the damn first place!

Johanna said...

Unfortunately there are MANY people out there who call themselves "Vegetarian" who eat Chicken and Fish. This, however, wasn't just a misunderstanding. It's a story for the ages, and I think that you should send it to Vegnews. You were featured in there once, so they would probably publish it. As tragic as the whole situation was, in a way, it's kind of funny. When I see you at Trader Joe's, I'll tell you why.


Anonymous said...

Wow, that really sucks. I feel for you. It is so unbelievably rude and insensitive when people act like that. I'm sorry you have to deal with that in your OWN family. Hugs to you.

Ruby Red Vegan said...

Grandma did WHAT?!?

Wow. I cannot even wrap my mind around how utterly rude that is. I cannot believe she altered food that YOU had made. Seriously, who goes to a guests' house and adds "secret" ingredients to dishes that the host has made? What if you had eaten some and gotten really sick? I am so sorry about the complete lack of respect that woman has for veganism. Grrr.

Ruby Red Vegan said...

Oh my gosh! You should go over to her house and stick dirt in her brownies or something and then, in a super-helpful tone, say, "Oh, I'm just trying to help you add plant foods to your diet!"